This is an ad I did for a a limb removal service specializing in arms. It was a big fad in the early 90s to have your arms cut off by a licensed limberjack. We all have that crazy aunt who has no arms and insists her life was way better as a result of having them voluntarily amputated. But we all know who can’t feed herself or, you know…during Thanksgiving dinner.
I did this ad for a company called SliceWorks, Inc. to market their version of the iconic Swiss Army Knife. I can attest that it did not work as advertised and only included four knives, one of which was actually a teaspoon. To boot, the “stylish” carrying case was really just a secondhand American Tourister bag.
This is one of my first ads. The client was some holding company for a business casual clothing conference. What blows my mind is that at the time there were at least six other similar conferences in North America. I did nearly identical ads for “Biz-Casz-Con-Can,” “Expo Casz,” and “HagarCon.”
This is an ad I did for Blind Billy’s Discount Blinds and Window Treatments. I kept my mouth shut on this one and cashed my check. By all accounts his store was pretty successful and wound up basically being a really cheap Kohl’s.
This is the second thing I’ve done for this cult. It’s presumably a warning to its adherents to get a cleansing with No More Tears shampoo. I charged double since I’m effectively doing ad work for two products.
During the early 90s there was a brief fad of “alternative proteins.” The APA tried to get people to eat things like snake, raccoon, macaque, and even box turtles, which we marketed to replace turkeys. It didn’t catch on, but I do recall being invited to a Passover seder where the Z’roa, or lamb shank, was replaced with egret.
I’m currently working on an ad campaign for this really interesting self-help organization. I’m not sure if the client is, like, the baby in the image below, but I know I write “our dylan” on all their invoices and an adult man in a business suit wearing a diaper (like, outside…over his slacks) picks up the artwork and pays me.