Advertising

Lycra Bustier Handbags, Footwear, and Cats, Unlimited LC.

Thanks to Web 2.0 and other hmtls, I am finally able to embark on three dreams I’d heretofore found unattainable due to total lack of all requisite skills.

Keep an eye out for my upcoming line of designer handbags:

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Comfortable and affordable footwear for any season or occasion:

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And brand new cat breeds that will jumpstart your YouTube careers and more:

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Daniel Valenswine’s Holiday Pig Farm

This is an ad I did for DV Pigs, Inc., a hog concern in Iowa that formerly sold piglets to men desperately searching fro the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. The operation was shut down by the USDA after it was discovered the piglets being sold were actually hairless French bulldogs riddled with contagious skin parasites.

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Thanksgiving 1991, Americans for Protein Alternatives

During the early 90s there was a brief fad of “alternative proteins.” The APA tried to get people to eat things like snake, raccoon, macaque, and even box turtles, which we marketed to replace turkeys. It didn’t catch on, but I do recall being invited to a Passover seder where the Z’roa, or lamb shank, was replaced with egret.

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Dylan

I’m currently working on an ad campaign for this really interesting self-help organization. I’m not sure if the client is, like, the baby in the image below, but I know I write “our dylan” on all their invoices and an adult man in a business suit wearing a diaper (like, outside…over his slacks) picks up the artwork and pays me.

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